last night eric had gone to jared's apartment, to his tiny kitchen and his bedroom. they kissed twice, with their clothes laid out hastily on the floor, and eric felt unsatisfied, or frustrated, because jared's face seemed so perfect in the small line of light coming in from the hallway, but kissing or sex or anything didn't feel like enough to express it. eric had felt that way before about other people, but he had always thought sex would express it. eric found sex disappointing most of the time. jared looked at his eyes and said, "let's kiss like penguins," and they pressed their noses together for a long time. "igloo," jared said.
"igloo too," eric said.
eric came back to reality in a stilted, half-there way. still slightly in a daze, eric got out of his truck to check the mailbox of the next house. he took out a small, messily put-together package, the address on which read:
GRANDPA
HEAVEN
eric looked at the handwriting, it seemed to be a young child's. eric looked around and then opened the package, containing a letter and a few very old photographs of a young woman. the letter read (with spelling errors corrected):
dear grandpa, i have been getting much taller this year, mom says i am going to get even taller though! i haven't seen you in a very long time so i wanted to write you a letter. margie has been barking very much and sometimes throwing up, so we think she is sick. dad is still away, i miss him all the time. i'll send some pictures of grandma too, because she misses you very much. when will you be coming back home? everyone misses you. WRITE BACK. love, melanie
after finishing the letter, eric looked at his shoes for a little while. eric looked at his truck. eric wasn't sure what he was thinking about. eric held the letter tightly to his chest.
